These are the adventures of John…

(Ah, I don’t have a last name for him yet.)

Anyway, these are the adventures of John someone or another. On his five year (gee I hope this series can go on that long) mission to seek out and find a better career, life, girl friend. To boldly go were every retail associate hopes to go. To a better job!!!!!!

I don’t think that’s going to work. Let’s try again.

Hardware…
Exciting and New….
Come on in, we’re expecting you…

At Hewitt’s Hardware Store
Where we’ll be making another sale
At Hewitt’s Hardware Store
Promises something for everyone

Set a course for retail sales
Your minds on a new blender

And Hardware Won’t hurt anyone
It’s an open smile
At a friendly store

It’s Hewitt’s Hardware Store
Welcome aboard it’s Hardware!

I think I should really write music

HERE’S A STORY

Here’s a story
Of a mediocre fellow
With a mediocre life
His job really sucks
And he has no money
He’s an average guy

He works in a hardware store
Its name is Hewitt’s
His manager is a corporate Nazi
He’d goose step and zeek Hile every day
Then he’d cry for mommy
He is sniveling sap.

He has a neighbor
His name is Elliott
Why it’s spelled it with two ‘T’s
We’ll never know why
It started as a type-o and just kept going
He is the comic relief

He’s got another neighbor
He’s old and senile
He sold Elliott his car
He then forgot And called the cops
Now Elliott’s in Jail

He’s got two co-workers
One is old
And one is young They seem to get by
Better than he does
He doesn’t understand why.

He likes to go fishing
And stops by the bait shop
Where an old Vietnam veteran resides
He has wicked bad flashbacks
No one may survive.

They all live in a trailer park
It attracts tornados

THE END